kingrdm888 发表于 2009-1-8 16:20   全显示 1楼
评分：8
        题目是写得有点大，希望后面的故事足以托起这个题目。
        第一篇看起来文笔还算流畅，h戏的片段多少有些感觉中场盘球过程不足，就直接临门一脚了，情节还是在布设一些再xxoo或者效果更好。期待后面写出波折一些的故事来。
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  • feifei777 金币 +30 有效 2009-1-11 00:03
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