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[禁忌之恋] 【雨夜,我操了姐姐】

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现在我真得很想有个这样得姐姐,那生活就更美好了!

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回复 1楼 的帖子

应该加一些抗拒的情节,那样显得真实一些。

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开头还不错,可惜关键之处却是如此粗糙!希望楼主继续努力!

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回复 1楼 的帖子

写得一般般,情节太少咯!希望多多改进,不过还是支持下

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这种感觉真的不错,不过就怕你表姐有过激反应,那样就很不好办了

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不过其他还好,听好看的,要是再细点就更好了

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好文章, 写的真不错 , 构思不错要是细节再细腻一点就好了

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看过这篇文章,不过题目不同,写的很有真实感

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很好的文章  让人思绪飘飘啊  支持楼主

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看到这么多上姐姐的 心里毛毛的 也想找个干干

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当前时区 GMT+8, 现在时间是 2024-9-13 13:02

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